I feel that I am married only on paper yet some well meaning Christians want to bring up all the marriage scriptures. I am not trying to negate the wisdom or validity of the scriptures. Yet they do need to be taken into a historical and a contextual way. You need to look at the character and consistency of who God is before you can make specific distinctions on what a single or two verses really says. Let’s look at the two situations. Married as a piece of paper and married as a commitment.
Married as a piece of paper:
If I am married only on paper due to the fact that there is no physical, emotional or spiritual ‘blending’ between my husband and I then it would be fair to say that a person that repeats a salvation prayer and gets a little certificate saying they are ‘born-again’ is truly born-again. They do not have to act born-again but by virtue of that piece of paper and them repeating some words after a man they are born-again.
Married as a commitment:
If you look upon my marriage as a commitment that my husband and I made yet the dedication is not being appropriated daily or regularly, is there really a commitment being upheld? If I make a vow to follow Christ then get all consumed within the church, the events and the hype of American-Christianity is there a real commitment to Christ or to the institution and tradition?
Christ is looking for a bride without spot or wrinkle. He is looking for a pure bride. One that is completely and totally dedicated to doing his will and seeking his heart in all matters. He will come back one day for this very bride and say to the rest ‘depart from me I never knew you’.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. ~~Matthew 7:22-23
It goes on to speak of being doers of the word and not just hearers. The character of God says that he is not interested in your speech of being a born-again Christian or even that you have an 8’X11’ glossy certificate in a pine wood frame on your wall to prove it. He doesn’t care how many Lexicons, dictionaries, bibles or study notes you have. He is not interested in your highlighter collection or how many version of the bible you have on CD. He only sees your heart. That is the true character of God and the culmination of the complete and fulfilled word of God. He has always and only looked for your heart.
If the heart of my marriage has been lost, broken or stolen then the crux of the marriage is gone. Yes, I can hear the super spiritual folks saying, ‘But God can heal that marriage! You need to trust Gawd and have
F-aiiith!’ First, I have been. Second, nowhere in the bible does it say God will heal my marriage. My husband is his own entity. God will not twist his arm to be a proper husband or to love me. God is not going to over-step my husband’s will and zippity-zap him with a heart for me. My husband has to want it.
Like salvation, one must want it or see their need for God to intervene in their lives. He cannot and will not zippity-zap people into his kingdom or else we would all be a heap of robots and the hearts content would be void.
God does not want a mass of hypocrites playing church and saying they are Christians to be in his kingdom. He is looking for a spotless bride of unimaginable worth in his eyes and heart. I too want this in my life. It is hard to have a piece of paper that says I am married but that is all that holds us together. I want someone that will love me for who I am, see the beauty in my service, dedication, and love. Someone I can pour my love out to without being emotionally assaulted or rejected.
Is this too much to ask for? This is all God is wanting.
It is not my intention to butcher scriptures for the sole purpose of justifying my actions. God knows my heart. And he is the one I will stand in judgment before. Good or bad. Just as you will be accountable for your relationship with him ~ whether it is on paper or written on your heart.
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